I am jolted out of my sleep ... BEEP BEEP BEEEEEP ... I look over at the clock, it says 4:04 but that's not the alarm sound anyway ... BEEP BEEP BEEEEEP ... it's annoying like a smoke alarm but it's not the right sound ... BEEP BEEP BEEEEEP ... it's coming from the hall closet where the UPS is for the network, computer and phone ... BEEP BEEP BEEEEEP ... "damn what a time for a power outage" I think as I jump out of bed to shut it up ... BEEP BEEP BEEEEEP ... man that's loud! ... BEEP BEEP BEEEEEP ...
I bump my head on the light as I jump out of bed and make my way to the closet and look at the display, ... BEEP BEEP BEEEEEP ... it's 4am so no computers are running, there is virtually no load ... BEEP BEEP BEEEEEP ... it wont stop no matter what I do, I pull all the plugs so there would be zero load ... BEEP BEEP BEEEEEP ...still in half a daze I look around and finally notice that there are lights on (and the clock runs on electricity) ... BEEP BEEP BEEEEEP ...shit why won't this stop!!! How did I plug the damn thing in anyway ... BEEP BEEP BEEEEEP ...way up there! ... BEEP BEEP BEEEEEP ... and as I look up I see a red light flashing in time with the ... BEEP BEEP BEEEEEP ... and numbers as well, huh? ... BEEP BEEP BEEEEEP ...and then I remembered, it was the downstairs carbon monoxide detector ... BEEP BEEP BEEEEEP ...that can't be good!
I pull the detector out of the electrical receptacle ... BEEP BEEP BEEEEEP ...it flashes between 256 and 50, what does that mean? ... BEEP BEEP BEEEEEP ... it says to call 911 but something stops me from doing so ... BEEP BEEP BEEEEEP ...still that is LOUD lord LOUD so I pull the battery and the noise finally ceased. We have another CO detector upstairs so I go see what it says, "0" as it always does. I bring it down and place it in the same closet that the first one didn't like and leave it for a few minutes, it stays at 0. I take another look at the battery in the first detector, it expires March 2009; the detector was manufactured and purchased in 2005 and I know I have not put a second battery in it ... but it is just supposed to be a back up for when electricity isn't available. It also says it should be vacuumed weekly, but it's not been done once in 5 years.
Still somewhat in a daze I try to undo the damage I've done with the UPS, I plug back in the power bar and watch the cable modem, wireless router and switch all come on but when I check the phone it is off. I recall pulling out the phone lines from the UPS and so I look for the lines to plug back in and I can only find one and a short length that lead to nowhere. It is now about 4:15 and I am standing butt naked trying to figure out why the damn phones don't work, not having the best time of my life, when I remember there are two things to plug in the back of the UPS...the brain is starting to work a bit better. With the phones now working, the noise stopped, and the new detector still claiming "0" PPM of CO I tried to go back to bed That, as it turns out, is easier said than done.
I'm lying in bed now, Lucy is back in her crate, the other two dogs lying on the floor where they usually are, Sue's breath telling me she's not asleep either. People die from CO poisoning, that's why I have the detectors in the first place. But why would there be any CO? The furnace is the only possibility and there is less than a 6-inch hole between the furnace room and the closet ... it has to be a broken detector.
Well the fact that you are reading this is proof that it really was a broken detector and not a CO emergency but I wonder, given the cognitive dysfunction usually associated with CO poisoning, whether I would have made a different choice...